The “Best School” Obsession: Are We Chasing Success or Fear in Disguise?

Before a child even learns to spell their own name, some parents have already started researching primary school rankings, alumni networks, and school reputations.

It’s a familiar story — registration phases, volunteering for school admission priority, and the unspoken competition in parent chat groups.

But behind this national ritual lies a deeper question:

Are we doing it for opportunity, or for assurance?

The Myth of the “Best” School

In Singapore, where education has long been the great equaliser, it’s easy to assume that being in a top school automatically leads to a brighter future.

But when we peel back the layers, research and real-life experiences tell a more nuanced story.

Children from neighbourhood schools have gone on to excel in business, medicine, technology, and the arts. Meanwhile, students from prestigious schools have struggled under immense pressure or burnout.

The truth?

A school may offer an environment, but the child builds the journey.

A motivated student, paired with strong parental support and healthy self-esteem, often thrives anywhere — because their success is internally driven, not externally shaped.

What Are Parents Really Chasing?

For many parents, the pursuit of the “best” school isn’t merely about grades. It’s about certainty.

A top school seems to promise stability, safety, and structure — all deeply reassuring in a competitive, uncertain world.

It’s a way to feel that we’ve given our child the best possible start, that we haven’t “fallen behind” other families.

But perhaps this relentless chase also reveals something else — a fear of what happens if we don’t.

A fear of missing out, of regret, of not doing enough.

And so, we equate the best school with the best life — even when reality tells us success is far more complex than that.

What Truly Shapes a Child’s Success

When we look at the long game, what truly distinguishes successful individuals often isn’t where they studied, but how they learned.

• The ability to think critically instead of just memorising.

• The discipline to stay consistent, even when results falter.

• The emotional regulation to handle failure and stress.

• The curiosity to keep learning long after exams are over.

These traits are cultivated at home, through the small daily habits and conversations that shape a child’s mindset.

A nurturing environment — whether at home or in school — matters far more than a nameplate on the school gate.

A Shift in Mindset

It’s natural to want the best for our children. But maybe it’s time to redefine what “best” truly means.

Perhaps it isn’t the school with the highest PSLE cutoff.

Perhaps it’s the one where your child feels seen, safe, and inspired.

A school that encourages effort over ego.

Curiosity over competition.

Growth over grades.

Because when a child loves learning, the foundation of success has already been built — regardless of where it began.

A Question to Leave With

As parents, are we choosing schools based on our child’s needs — or our own fears?

And when we say we want them to have the “best start,” do we mean the best education — or the best peace of mind for ourselves?

Perhaps true success lies not in finding the perfect school, but in raising a child who can flourish in any one.