Understanding Ambition: Why It Should Be Normalised, Not Standardised

Ambition is often spoken about in absolutes.

You either have it — or you don’t.

In competitive environments like Singapore, ambition is praised, encouraged, and sometimes quietly compared. Students are often measured not only by their achievements, but by how intensely they seem to want them. Yet this raises an important question: Is ambition a universal trait that should look the same for everyone?

What Ambition Actually Is

At its core, ambition is simply the desire to grow towards something meaningful. It is not synonymous with aggression, competition, or constant striving.

Ambition can look like:

• Wanting mastery rather than recognition

• Valuing stability over status

• Choosing depth over speed

• Seeking balance rather than dominance

The form ambition takes depends deeply on personality, values, and life context.

Why Ambition Gets Misunderstood

In high-performing societies, ambition often becomes entangled with:

• External validation

• Prestige-based goals

• Social comparison

• Timelines dictated by others

This can lead to a narrow definition of ambition — one that prioritises visible achievement over internal fulfilment.

As a result, quieter forms of ambition are often overlooked or undervalued.

The Problem with Imposing Intensity

When students are surrounded by peers with different levels of drive, tensions naturally arise. High-intensity ambition can unintentionally create pressure within friendships, making others feel inadequate or unmotivated by comparison.

Imposing the same intensity of ambition within a peer group can:

• Strain friendships

• Create silent competition

• Encourage performative achievement

• Undermine intrinsic motivation

Ambition thrives best when it is self-directed, not socially enforced.

Normalising Ambition Without Ranking It

Normalising ambition means recognising that everyone is striving towards something — even if it looks different on the surface.

Parents and educators can help by:

• Valuing effort aligned with personal goals

• Avoiding comparisons between children

• Respecting different definitions of success

• Encouraging self-reflection over peer benchmarking

This creates an environment where ambition feels safe, not suffocating.

Teaching Teenagers to Respect Different Ambitions

Teenagers are especially sensitive to peer dynamics. Helping them understand that ambition exists on a spectrum can foster empathy and emotional maturity.

Key messages include:

• Your goals do not invalidate others’ goals

• Someone else’s pace does not define your worth

• Success is personal before it is public

When ambition is decoupled from ego, collaboration replaces competition.

The Parent’s Role in Framing Ambition

Parents often set the emotional tone around ambition, sometimes without realising it.

Simple shifts can make a difference:

• Ask “What matters to you?” instead of “What are you aiming for?”

• Celebrate progress, not just milestones

• Avoid using other children as benchmarks

Children internalise not just expectations, but the emotional weight attached to them.

Ambition as a Sustainable Force

Healthy ambition fuels:

• Consistent effort

• Personal growth

• Purpose-driven learning

• Long-term resilience

Unchecked or imposed ambition, however, often leads to burnout, anxiety, or disengagement.

The goal is not to dampen ambition — but to shape it into something sustainable.

A Closing Reflection

Ambition does not need to be loud to be real.

It does not need to look the same to be valid.

When we normalise ambition without standardising it, we allow children and teenagers to pursue growth without losing themselves — or their relationships — along the way.

Perhaps the healthiest environments are not those where ambition is ranked, but those where it is respected in all its forms.